Attraction for Adam was not a handsome face, a striking smile, or beautiful eyes, but a scent that would drive him to distraction or a voice that could make his heart beat faster. When the combination of the two walked into his life in Luke, Adam couldn’t help but want him. But how was he supposed to know if Luke felt the same attraction? He had no prior experience, no past encounters, nothing to help him. Not even his sight.
One look at Adam and Luke wanted him. Sensual, gorgeous, kind, with a strength that Luke was drawn to, Adam was everything Luke desired. Being in Adam’s arms, showing him the pleasure of a man’s body, being touched, held, and desired in return, had Luke wanting more, had him wanting what he knew he couldn’t have.
It didn’t matter to him that Adam was blind, but Adam deserved more than someone like him. Luke was a man with a broken past and falling in love with Adam was a foolish thing to do, especially because Adam would never love him back if he found out what Luke was hiding.
Excerpt:
Adam
lifted his head at the potent fragrance that reached him. Puzzled, he took a
deep, inconspicuous breath through his nose and mouth. He frowned,
concentration on the book he’d been reading lost as he tried to distinguish
what it was. This particular scent itself was unique; he knew damn well he’d
never come across it before, yet it seemed familiar somehow. It teased his
senses, tantalized his memory, until Adam suddenly recognized it—the musky,
rich aroma of an aroused male. Startled, because the only person it could come
from was the man sitting across from him beyond the width of the dining table,
Adam turned in his direction. His hands slipped, the braille dots beneath his
fingertips suddenly losing their meaning. Oh God, this was not good.
Biting
back a moan as his cock thickened and swelled in reaction, Adam sat as still as
he could, listening for any sign that Luke had noticed the extra level of
sexual tension that filled the room. He didn’t really need to worry; Luke
obviously had no idea how he affected Adam, and Adam was not about to tell him.
Jesus, what kind man did that to another? He took another deep breath; this
time it was to clear the sexual haze that was fogging his mind. He needed to
get Luke away from him before he made a fool of himself.
“Luke?”
God, even saying his name was enough to send a tingle to Adam’s balls. He
really needed to get Luke out of his living room. It would give both of them a
chance to cool off. When he didn’t receive an answer, he tried again, louder. “Luke?”
“Fuck.”
The softly spoken curse could have been shouted. Luke still hadn’t realized Adam’s
hearing was acute, not that they’d spoken to each other enough for Luke to have
figured that out.
“Are
you all right?” Adam asked, deciding tact would better suit his purpose. Not
being able to read the nuances on people’s faces, Adam usually found it easier
to be direct. However, asking Luke why he was turned-on would probably be going
too far, and Adam didn’t really want to know.
“What?”
Luke shuffled the pages he was holding in his lap.
“I
asked if you were all right.”
“Why?”
Luke shifted in his seat, and Adam had to stop an image of Luke adjusting his
erection. It would be slim, Adam decided, but long.
“You
seem…distracted.” Yeah, and so was he now.
This
time the curse was not much more than Luke moving his lips. Maybe Luke was
embarrassed; maybe he needed to go and find some relief. Shit, thinking of Luke
jacking off was not a good idea. Not right now, at least.
He
tried again. “Do you need to take a break?” he asked, needing one of his own.
From the moment he’d first inhaled Luke’s scent and heard his voice, Adam had
been in a constant state of arousal. Most of the time he’d managed to keep it
hidden, but right now the bulge in his jeans would be obvious, and with Luke
gone from the room, it would give him a chance to adjust his own raging hard-on.
The
sound of a chair scraping back on the timber floor warned Adam that Luke had
stood up, while the papers he’d been holding landed on the dining table with a
soft flutter.
“Why
are you doing this?”
Luke’s
sudden remark caught Adam by surprise. Could Luke know what he’d been thinking?
He fought down a moment of panic, and while maintaining a neutral expression
sat back in his chair and tilted his head to Luke’s face. “Doing what?” he
asked, thankful his voice didn’t betray what he was feeling.
“This!”
Adam
frowned, confused, and then realized what Luke had done. He sighed in both
resignation and disappointment. “If you just made a sweeping gesture with your
hand to indicate something, you have to remember I can’t see it.”
Hand
gestures were a natural way of communicating, and nearly everyone forgot Adam
couldn’t see them, but pointing that out to Luke wasn’t so much as to remind
him but to take his own mind off the disturbing thoughts that were still going
on in his head.
Luke
cursed again. This time it was loud and clear. “Fuck this. I don’t know what
the fuck I’m doing here. I don’t need this shit!”
Taken
aback by the sudden aggression in Luke’s tone, Adam gritted his teeth. “If by
shit you mean sitting here and working with me, then tough. I do need it.” Adam
didn’t even try to hide his swift but very explainable anger. It was hard
enough accepting help from someone, but knowing Luke didn’t want to be here
pissed Adam off, more so because all Adam could think of was wanting Luke. “Go
and take a break,” he ordered, throwing out the back of his hand.
He
heard Luke move, and his voice sounded closer as if Luke had leaned toward him.
“You just made a hand gesture.”
Luke’s
snide reply was the last straw, and Adam’s composure finally snapped. He’d had
enough, both with Luke and his own lack of control. “That’s because I know you
can fucking see it!” Pushing back his
chair, Adam stood up, agitated. He never swore at people, and he rarely lost
his temper, but frustration and an impossible situation had him on edge.
When
Luke didn’t make a move to leave, Adam wasn’t sure if he was grateful or more
pissed off. He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
“For
what?”
There
was a sharpness to Luke’s words that Adam regretted putting there. Despite his scorn,
Luke didn’t deserve Adam’s anger. Luke didn’t know what he was doing to Adam,
didn’t know that he was turning him on beyond comprehension. “Swearing at you.”
“Don’t
be. I do it all the time.” The tone of Luke’s voice softened, and Adam could
imagine a light smile playing on his lips. Lips he wanted to kiss.
“Yeah,
well. I don’t.”
“Maybe
you should. Helps give emphasis to what you’re saying.” Now Adam could
definitely hear Luke’s amusement, but instead of being settled by it, he was
only rankled further.
“I’m
a schoolteacher, in case you’d forgotten. Swearing is only used by people who
are not smart enough to think of something better to say.”
The
sudden antagonism that filled the room was tangible. Adam instantly regretted
what he’d said, but before he could apologize, Luke pushed away from the table.
“Fuck
you.” Loud footsteps echoed along the timber floor as Luke walked away, and
seconds later the front door slammed behind him.
Adam
listened for a second, then sat back down and sighed. He knew he shouldn’t have
said that, but how the hell did you handle lusting after a man you could never
have?
He
groaned, releasing the banked-up tension and frustration that threatened to
overwhelm him. He’d never felt this way before, never been turned on like this.
Being gay wasn’t a problem; it was just another circumstance he lived with,
like his blindness. It was just that his blindness made being gay hard, if not
impossible to act on or even appreciate. He could never tell if another man was
interested in him. He didn’t know what signals to pick up on or what signals to
give. Until now that hadn’t really been an issue, because he’d never felt an
attraction for anyone. But he was undeniably attracted to Luke, and he honestly
didn’t know what to do about it. Getting hard in front of Luke was definitely
not something he should do, but it wasn’t something he could control either.
The
instant Luke had walked into his home four days ago, Adam had been intensely
aware of him. Luke smelled like a hot summer’s day just after the grass had
been cut and before a rainstorm was about to break; he sounded like a soft
breeze whispering across a pebbled beach—soothing yet edgy. Combined, they
triggered something deeply primal in Adam. He needed Luke, needed to hear his
voice, to smell him…touch him.
And
God help him—if there was one thing he desperately wanted to do, it was to
taste him.
Disturbed,
Adam had at first tried to keep out of Luke’s way, had tried not to get too
near him in case he inadvertently exposed how he felt. Funnily enough, Luke
seemed to have the same idea. He always made sure he never got too close,
moving away from Adam if they happened to come within touching distance. On
some level Adam had been grateful, though a little confused as to why Luke had
deemed it necessary to make sure they stayed clear of each other. Perhaps it
was because Luke felt ill at ease in Adam’s company, or maybe he just didn’t
want to be there. Either way, Adam couldn’t really blame him. Being around a blind
man wasn’t easy, and having to work for him when you’d rather be somewhere else
didn’t help the situation—a situation that today, Adam had practically lit a
fuse under.
Caught
up in a desire so powerful, Adam hadn’t been able to help himself when Luke had
knocked on the door two hours earlier. He’d opened the door and had stood
there, making Luke brush past instead of Adam stepping out of the way as usual.
They hadn’t actually come into contact, but Adam had felt Luke’s heat in that
fleeting moment, had caught his scent, and it had torn a groan from his throat.
Praying Luke hadn’t heard him or noticed that he’d closed his eyes as a shiver
had passed through his body, Adam gave Luke instructions and then tried to
spend the past couple of hours ignoring the almost impossible impulse to reach
over and touch him. He wanted to feel Luke’s skin beneath his fingertips; he
wanted to know if it would be as silky as he’d imagined.
Luke
couldn’t have known what was going on in Adam’s head, would have absolutely no
idea, but Adam had a sick feeling that Luke sensed Adam was slowly unraveling
and had reacted in kind. Their explosive argument just a few minutes ago proved
that the atmosphere was more strained than usual between them.
It
had been a stupid, reckless thing to do, and if Luke came back, Adam swore he
wouldn’t attempt to do anything to make Luke feel any more uncomfortable than
he already did. He didn’t want to jeopardize the time they had together,
fleeting as it was, because any time with Luke was better than nothing at all.
It was just a shame that Luke couldn’t feel the same way about him.
Adam
rubbed his hands over his face and winced. He was an idiot for thinking about
Luke that way. He was an idiot for thinking about any man that way. He sighed, resigned, acknowledging what he knew
to be an unending fact—his blindness would make sure it was never going to
happen.
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